There was a time when I was alone and unmolested
In my dark hidey-hole
There I fought and contested
With the earthworm and the mighty mole
But slowly sounds they came from above
Of picks a-picking and diggers a-digging
Horribly and with a most unwelcome shove
A sunbeam burst through my earthwork rigging!
The smell of fresh air was all around me
The worst smell Id ever known
And when it got dark enough for me to see
I saw the wretched things that they had sown
They planted corn in my roof, me lads!
They put out their cows a-grazing.
The rudeness of these uncouth cads
Was enough to set my blood a-blazing
So I came to them, to ask them please
To leave a poor old monster alone
Remove this light from which the earthworm flees
And that makes the mighty mole mirthless moan
But they screamed at me, in their mead-hall
Pretended to not understand my words
They lifted axes in the air, looking for a brawl
They only replied with their cutting swords
If its a fight you want, its a fight youll get
I sadly spoke into their faces
Their bones were fragile; their blood was wet
And they were fun to catch in chases
I grew to delight in their torment
In making red their skins of pink
But I was never able to remove that scent
That horrible human stink
Well this went on for many many years
It really was the greatest fun
I laughed so hard I couln't count the tears
I swore that Id never be done.
And then from across the seas I heard the horns report
A hero landed on the shores: one ugly, fat, and short
The pathetic pink-skins called him Beowulf
I knew Id eat him soon enough
I stepped into that mead hall again, as I did each and every night
Not expecting this boasting braggart rat to put up any sort of fight
I give him credit; He was awake while all the others slept
But curiously while others dreamed, he sat there and he wept
I almost felt sorry for this sad sack of flesh, for I had known sadness too
I decided to see if there was something that I could do
I whispered words on gentle winds while I hid in darkness:
"Beowulf, what is wrong, why the teary distress?"
Mistaking me for the courts harp-player he began to spill his guts
(Something that I knew about having done it to others lots)
"There is a horrible evil Ive been sent to this place to cleanse."
"But - I dont want to kill the monster, I only want to be friends."
Well, this is something that struck me very close to my heart.
I had wanted only friendship from the start.
"Beowulf," I spoke again, louder now as I walked near.
"I am the monster Grendel, and I will be your friend right here."
His face looked up at mine and smiled; I saw a sparkle in his eye
I walked over and gave him a great big hug just to say, "Hi."
But Beowulf beguiled me, tricked me with his charm
He kicked me in the groin and then ripped off my arm!
Howling, howling, I ran to escape
My blood spurting and my mind agape!
(I can understand why he wanted to cause me harm,
but what in the world would he want with my arm?)
They thought I was dead, but I made my way out
I hid deep underground, off any main route.
There for many a decade I did lay
Again with the earthworm and mole I did play
Until I heard that they had come to this place; that they had come here!
To an island and land that I hold most dear
The island of Uthgol, the home of my kin
That pink-skins had come here was surely a sin
I heard they were planting their corn and grazing their cows
I heard they were constructing another great Mead-house!
So now I come to aid and I come with great strength
Ive been underground for such a great length
That my power has grown, and my size has increased
And I will not leave until the pink-skins have ceased
This will be my never ever ending task
I will not let any of my children come to harm
Only one thing that of you I ask -
Can one of you, please find my arm?
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